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Showing posts from June, 2006

Cingular Chips

Kandis and I got new Cingular cell phones a couple of months ago. For some reason tonight, I was reminded of the staff at the store whence 1 we purchased these etiquette-altering devices. Every single salesperson there seemed to have some kind of chip on their shoulder and I can't remember the last time I saw such a display of utter douchebaggery. It was as if these people had aspired to greater things in life, and were trying to prove to themselves and their customers that although they had failed in their previous endeavors, they were still relevant. 1 In case some of you are bothered by the fact that I didn't use "from whence" here, please note that it is not an error. has a great explanation here .

Wreckless Driving

We've all been involved in some kind of aggressive driving incident at some point or another. We've either been the aggressive driver, been cut off by one, or been in an accident caused by one. Seeing this report yesterday of a fatal collision really had a powerful effect on me. I can't count how many times I've been cut off by some yahoo who was in a hurry to get nowhere. I know I've cut a few people off at various times in a hurry to get where? That's right: nowhere. Thankfully, I think I've become a little less daring in my old age (thirty). The next time you're out on the road, think a little bit. Your life could be changed in a split second.

Look Ma! No Hair!

It's that time of year again when I chop off my hair. Actually, I do this every few months, but I'm always happy whenever I do. It's an occasion for celebration, especially when the temperature is ninety-five degrees outside. I also thought I'd take this opportunity to show off my Sluggo™ haircut to my Mother. Fear not, dear Mother. It will be grown back to a somewhat respectable length before I get to Cooperstown next month! Sluggo™ is a character from the Nancy ™ comic series.

The Poll

Clearly, my informal poll from a couple of weeks ago failed to generate the response I had hoped to receive. Despite that low turnout, I will keep this blog active, because I am too much of an egomaniac to stop posting.

Millie, don't be a mouth-breather

Our dog, Millie, happens to be a mouth-breather and a paste-eater , but we love her anyway. Note: My usage of "paste-eater" is slightly different here. I'm using it to refer to someone who eats anything in sight, even something that's not considered food, per se . This type of non-discriminatory consumption is generally caused by lack of intelligence, common to mouth-breathers and people who voted for Bush a second time in 2004.